EnigmA Amiga Run 1997 July/EnigmA AMIGA RUN 20 (1997)(G.R. Edizioni)(IT)[!][issue 1997-07 & 08][EAR-CD IV].iso/lightwave/lwmlist/95.lightwave-10/000302_owner-lightwav…mail.webcom.com_Thu Oct 5 20:51:11 1995.msg

Internet Message Format | 1995-11-07 | 6KB

Received: by mail.webcom.com
    (1.37.109.15/16.2) id AA232361471; Thu, 5 Oct 1995 20:51:11 -0700
Return-Path: <[e-mail]>
Received: from pulm1.accessone.com by mail.webcom.com with SMTP
    (1.37.109.15/16.2) id AA231721424; Thu, 5 Oct 1995 20:50:24 -0700
Received: from 206.64.63.166 (jeric.accessone.com) by pulm1.accessone.com (4.1/SMI-4.1)
    id AA02265; Thu, 5 Oct 95 20:43:00 PDT
Date: Thu, 5 Oct 95 20:42:59 PDT
Message-Id: <[e-mail]>
From: [e-mail]
Subject: humor for engineers...and beer drinkers
To: [e-mail]
X-Mailer: AIR Mail 3.X (SPRY, Inc.)
Sender: [e-mail]
Precedence: bulk

OK, SUE me....it's funny, and this list could use it!
Old Lightwavers, stay tuned for the Amiga entry....

<---- Begin Included Message ---->

Subject: humor for engineers...and beer drinkers


>     If Operating Systems Were Beers...
>
>   DOS Beer:
>   Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the
>   directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an
>   8-oz. can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However, the can is divided
>   into 8 compartments of 2 oz. each, which have to be accessed   separately.
>   Soon to be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep
>   drinking it after it's no longer available.
>
>   Mac Beer:
>   At first, came only a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz. can.
>   Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical.
>   When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients   list
>   is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are
>   told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you
>   to drag your empties to the trashcan.
>
>   Windows 3.1 Beer:
>   The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like
>   Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that it
>   allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality   you
>   can only drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you are
>   drinking the Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for apparently
>   no reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it.
>
>   OS/2 Beer:
>   Comes in a 32-oz can. Does allow you to drink several DOS Beers
>   simultaneously. Allows you to drink Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously
>   too, but somewhat slower. Advertises that its cans won't explode
>   when you open them, even if you shake them up. You never really see
>   anyone drinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer (International Beer
>   Manufacturing) claims that 9 million six-packs have been sold.
>
>   Windows 95 Beer:
>   You can't buy it yet, but a lot of people have taste-tested it and   claim
>   it's wonderful. The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but tastes
>   more like Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when you look
>   inside, the cans only have 16 oz. of beer in them. Most people will
>   probably keep drinking Windows 3.1 Beer until their friends try Windows
>   95 Beer and say they like it. The ingredients list, when you look at   the
>   small print, has some of the same ingredients that come in DOS beer,
>   even though the manufacturer claims that this is an entirely new brew.
>
>   Windows NT Beer:
>   Comes in 32-oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the truckload. This
>   causes most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators. The
>   can looks just like Windows 3.1 Beer's, but the company promises to
>   change the can to look just like Windows 95 Beer's - after Windows 95
>   beer starts shipping. Touted as an "industrial strength" beer, and
>   suggested only for use in bars.
>
>   Unix Beer:
>   Comes in several different brands, in cans ranging from 8 oz. to 64 oz.
>   Drinkers of Unix Beer display fierce brand loyalty, even though they
>   claim that all the different brands taste almost identical. Sometimes
>   the pop-tops break off when you try to open them, so you have to have
>   your own can opener around for those occasions, in which case you   either
>   need a complete set of instructions, or a friend who has been drinking
>   Unix Beer for several years.
>
>   AmigaDOS Beer:
>   The company has gone out of business, but their recipe has been picked
>   up by some weird German company, so now this beer will be an import.
>   This beer never really sold very well because the original manufacturer
>   didn't understand marketing. Like Unix Beer, AmigaDOS Beer fans are an
>   extremely loyal and loud group. It originally came in a 16-oz. can, but
>   now comes in 32-oz. cans too. When this can was originally introduced,
>   it appeared flashy and colorful, but the design hasn't changed much
>   over the years, so it appears dated now. Critics of this beer claim
>   that it is only meant for watching TV anyway.
>
> OpenWindows Beer: Tastes a lot like Unix Beer, but comes in a flashier
> can. This beer pours very easily, but then suddenly becomes the
> consistency of molasses for a few seconds, and then returns to its
> normal consistency. The manufacturer keeps trying to discontinue this
> brew, but so far hasn't succeeded.

<---- End Included Message ---->

***********************************************
** [e-mail]    |  Synergy Graphix & Animation
** Welcome to Seattle, have a latte'!
** Don't make me force it down your throat.....
************************************************

--
[e-mail] sent this message.
To Post a Message           : [e-mail]
Un/Subscription Requests To : [e-mail]
(DIGEST)                 or : [e-mail]
Administrative Items To     : [e-mail]